keys?

Now, its Saturday morning. After being dropped off at home (HOME SWEET HOME), i ring the front door doorbell. I turn around and see my sister continue to drive down the street, unaware of what i would i have to face very soon. No one answers. I ring the doorbell again. Again, no answer.

I decided to head to back door, yet i realize, i cant open the gate. My father has this complicated lock system on the fence. Its a 6ft high fence that surrounds our house and me being 5ft 3' makes it VERY difficult to try to get inside the secure premises of my own house. After trying afew times, i head back to the front door and ring the bell again. Once again, no answer.

Usually in the past, whenever i forgot my keys inside my bedroom and was locked out of the house, i always managed to figure out a logical way to get back inside. I've broken into my house several times. I did it 4 days in a row back in grade 11. My mother was in the US visiting relatives, my dad was away at work during the day, siblings away at school or work during the day. The way the system worked in grade 11, i would endup coming home first out of everyone. however, forgetful me, would always forget my keys sitting on my desk, dresser, or sometimes right on the kitchen table...

this resulted to me coming inside through the window from the backside of the house. Yes, my neighbours would look at me oddly, but thankfully my dad would forget to shut his bedroom window that morning, which is the ultimate key to climbing in from the windows. Had the window been shut, i would have to sit and wait for one of my siblings to come along and use their housekeys.

But this morning however, none of the windows were open.

Anyways, I realize my celly is still with me, and i call my home phone number, the only thing that answers is "Hi you've reached the Awans, but we're not around to take your call, please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as we can! Thank you!" I simply hangup.....

Before calling my dad's cell or my brother's cell, i decided to grab my keys from my usual pocket of my backpack. However, when i looked, they werent there. Simply cause i forgot to take them with me and had left them on my bed....

I sit down beneath the pine tree, and its 10:30am. Saturday morning's cool crisp weather made me kinda chilly so i tried to keep myself warm. I begin to dial my dad's cell number....yet i get a call from a friend before i can even finish dialing his number. I talked on the phone for about 10mins with this friend and she offers to come pick me up once she realizes im locked out of my home. I thank her for the offer since its very kind of her to mention that, yet i told her it wasnt nessesary since my closest relatives lived only 2 streets away.

After that phone conversation, I dial my father's cell again. This time, he answers and laughs when i explain to him my situation. He says to me he's nowhere near the house and that id have to find a different solution. He also told me my brother was home and that i should try ringing the bell again....perhaps ali was in the shower? (for the record, yeah he was lol)

My dad then keeps talking about the technique for opening the gate. We hangup and i ring the doorbell again. This time, ali answers.

-taibah out.

broken and beautiful

would the title really describe me? my nose is runny....

im suppose to be sleeping right now. yet i cant. this is what happens, when i dont sleep at my own house lol. ugh and i didnt bring the water pillow or the cranium game. oh wells....ROCKBAND kept me well entertained earlier...and some episodes of trailer park boys...im rather hungry right now, but this isnt my house im currently in right now...so i feel like its wrong to just walk to the fridge and throw together a killer salad. lol, i do help myself to Tropicana o.j.

Rockband was alot of fun today. i was on guitar and i loved that song by the band called Garbage, its called 'I think im paranoid"...reminded me alot of myself.

i should be sleeping, but i'll ssee what happens when i try to sleep...

-taibah out

smile darling....cause it confuses me

i dont know why i feel so tired today, i woke about 4 hours ago and my neck is soooo sore. i dont know why, and i cant blame my pillow, cause its a water pillow and water pillows cant harm your neck in any way...

the other night i spent at my sister's place and i couldn't sleep cause she didnt have a water pillow so i was flipping around the entire night.

readers, i have a message for you all....i cant download that song from Feist, called 1, 2, 3, 4....and so if any of you, i would greatly appreciate it if you can send me a copy of it cause i LOVE that song, infact im listening to it, via youtube however.

regardless, its a really gray day outside today and i cant help but feel insanely sleepy right now...im sitting a one of the leather couches in Human Ecology lounge on campus and i just wanna crash here sooo badly right now, but im scared someone might steal tap-tap (beloved laptop...) and maybe my textbook?

even tho im in a public place right now, i would TOTALLY sing along to this song if no one else was around....say in the empty bus shelters?

i wish someone could yell at me right now. i want someone to scream at me about something, anything. i wish my sister zenab lived nearby, she was great at doing that. i got a cut on my right index finger, its a killer looking cut. I havent used a bandage for it, cause it feels like i deserve the pain of it.

-taibah out

Rapture

rapture n. The state of being transported by a lofty emotion; ecstasy. An expression of ecstatic feeling.
Source: http://www.answers.com/topic/rapture

i guess its suppose to be a good thing...

-taibah out

HEADACHE

damn

so im at my sister's house today, and i open the fridge, im dead thirsty. Next thing i know, im shooting down a can of coca-cola, and it felt GREAT!

well, not anymore, i got an insane headache right now and it does not feel good. My body was not expecting that caffiene after having none for 16 days......

damnit im regretting it sooo much, but its amazing i made it this far

anyways, i want a slurpee so im heading out now...yeah i know its past midnight

-taibah out

he says 'my dreams are so tight'

last night was interesting.

i had my books all over my bedroom floor. Next to that was a can of sprite, next to that sat my laptop named Tap-Tap. I love studying while im wearing my pj's. I did have a zip-up on cause my room gets really chilly when the door isn't open. I get rather stiff when im studying on the floor, but if feels good sometimes.

i think last night, i barely used my msn. I got tons of work thrown ahead of me for the next 2 weeks and my class starts on Monday iA.

After coming back to my room to refill my glass of water, i got a call on my phone, but the ringer SCARED me i jumped and hit my head against the door. You cant blame me, cause its late at night and you're totally not expecting any calls in the dead of the night. The call wasn't very important either lol

I then sat down to continue reading and highlighting my textbook, and my nose began to get runny...or so i thought. I let out a sneeze yet to block it from hitting my laptop screen i used my left arm to block it. I was HORRIFIED to see the blood on my white zip-up sleeve. I cant stand the sight of blood, makes me feel very queasy.

I got up and went to the washroom, and sure enough my nose was bleeding, pretty badly actually. I've only had a nosebleed twice in my childhood so im not used to things like this. Thankfully, im first aid certified and knew how to handle the situation. For those of you that don't know: Pinch and lean forward.

It was kinda painful and abit of a challenge for me to do that, thanks to my nosering. But typically nosebleeds don't last for very long, so it wasn't anything terribly major.

I did wash the sleeve of my zip-up right away and then threw it in my laundry basket, to which i had to grab another zip-up to wear.

This whole incident took about 10-15mins of my precious study/sleep time.

anyways, back to note-making...

-taibah out

May? already??

subhanallah, its the month of May. Its amazing how time flies, seems like just yesterday my sisters' had just got married...

right now im the Human Ecology Lounge on campus. Im the only person here and it feels eerie, yet i love how i can concentrate. I know my classes dont start till monday, but i got my list of Readings emailed to me...and midterm is on the 14th. YIKES!

so far ive made it to page 5, i gotta read upto 501 for the midterm. May Allah swt. help me achieve this. perhaps sitting alone here is really a blessing to help me study. who knows?

Atleast the topic isnt dry, im reading chapter one "Managerial Accounting and the Business Environment", its actually pretty interesting.

As soon as this month is over, ima REALLY work hard on getting a better job, something more respectable and motivating, yet challenging.

i forgot my sunglasses in the prayer room on campus, gotta remember to grab them before i head home...

back to highlighting the white pages of my stiff new shiny textbook...

-taibah out

ps. im on day 14 of being "drug free" from caffeine. thanks to everyone for their support and words of encouragement. it really meant alot to me, without your guys' soft words, who knows if i could even last this far? its still a struggle but i've gotten much stronger now. you know who you are. thank you.