tonight, i am emo

speechless.
you leave me speechless.
and with a migrane.

im not gonna run after you, cuz i never did in the first place. i kept my distance, out of fear something would become of it. thankfully, nothing did.

you used to bring a smile to my face, you used to know what to say at the right time. sharing laughs at the right places. seeing you on a thursday would keep me smiling till sunday.

and i held on to those words.
your words.
they cleared my mind.
you wouldnt give it a second thought, but they kept me going for weeks at a time. playing over and over, again and again inside my head. i considered you more than just a friend. but sadly, you did not.

now its all in my head, and i think about it over and over again
you have no idea how much of an impact you were on me. and my life.
and im just really sad how much you've crushed me like this.

thanks for dying on me.
-taibah out

different nights

critical thinking, is what i like to call it. light comes during different nights. sometimes it takes a while to realize whats coming at you. something the obvious isnt easy to pick out. sometimes it takes more energy and strength to get through times of distress, anger, and frustration.

we always want to point the blame to someone else. at work, school, in the family, with your friends. its very hard to find the right people to trust sometimes. but one can go insane if you close yourself up too much.

Risk.

risk the damn emotions.

the ones that set you up, the ones that really push you to the edge of your limits. sometimes you might jump over that fine, thin line.

im just sick of it. so bloody sick of it.
sick and tired. angered and annoyed. tense and closed.
i too have stories.

-taibah out

stiff cuz i slept in my jeans

and now im thinking to myself,
dont know what i was doing there.
and now im saying to myself,
im glad i got out of there

yeahh riteeeeeeeeeeeee

:(

-taibah out

eyebrows

the first thing i notice when im talking to another girl is her eyebrows.
eyebrows are a pain to deal with.

for the past few months ive been getting my eyebrows waxed professionally. It hurts for abit, but its a 'beauty pain', which basically means i cant complain about it. It honestly saves time and effort if I were to do them on my own. Id rather pay $12 to sit in a spa and get them done within 10mins, than have to stand infront of a mirror and shape them up myself, which can take upto 30mins. You're suppose to get your eyebrows waxed once every 3 weeks. I normally dont ask them to be shaped, i just get them 'cleaned' up to look neat and tidy. I think arches would like kinda wierd of me anyways.

my last appointment at the spa (about a month ago), wasnt that great. I guess I kept distracting her, cuz i wouldnt shut up about talking about my niece with her. The end result, only one of my eyebrows looked decent. She pulled out the wrong hairs in the other one :( but alhumdulliah, the hair are growing back. but i still need to wait another week or so before i can do anything to it.

but im stuck in a terrible dilema.

today, i fixed up one of my eyebrows, the other one (that was tortured by the lady at the spa) still looks TERRIBLE. i gotta be patient and wait 1 more week until im fully satisfied.

the joys of being a girl! haha

-taibah out

im a bitter bitch

recent events in my life have brought me to feel like this.
i dont blame anyone, except the people around me.

sometimes you just need a break from everyone around you.

i hate sounding selfish, and hating on others and being really stubborn, but it happens to me sometimes. but i guess that happens to alot of other people too. its human nature to get frustrated over certain things sometimes. maybe i just panic really easily. or maybe i get excited too quickly.

i need some water...
-taibah out

investments indeed

and whatever happened to learning how to think on your own? i hate people that run after others.

i like my friends,
but i wouldnt glue myself to their lives.

sometimes i come home from work or school and just want to lie down on my bed and shut off my laptop and leave my phone on silent and under my pillow. i keep the door shut and block out all noise and distractions. then you just curl up into a ball on your bed and mumble to yourself 'damn today was such a crappy day' or 'i need sleep'..... its called 'ME TIME'.

i love getting ME TIME.

-taibah out

greenish gold eyeshadows

wow, happy 2009! and its my 1 year anniversary on my blog!!!!!
its truly amazing how i still have this blog alive and healthy lol
in all honesty and truth, its been a great friend. it never told me im right or wrong, it never told me to shut up or stop ranting so they could 'cut the call short' or 'gotta use the washroom' or 'my dad's calling me' or 'i gotta sleep early tonight cuz i got work tomorrow'....

whoever you are out there, that reads this blog, thank you.
i enjoy it when no one comments.
Silent Screams are indeed just that. Me and my silent screams. If you listen carefully you just MIGHT hear me. You'll feel it, reading the emotions through the words ive written on this blog. You'll sense it too. Words are so powerful SubhanAllah.

Keep reading....



-taibah out