March 24th, 2009

today i had a dentist appointment.
it sucked.
my bottom teeth hurt.
i hate trashy kids running around in the waiting area at the dentist office. honestly, wouldnt you wonder WHY your kid walked into the office WITHOUT shoes on and wearing his gloves on his feet???? and guess what? you annoying 9 year old brat, you ARENT a princess so quite acting like a baby and learn to sit with manners.

im filing a compliant agaisnt a Winnipeg Transit bus driver. today i rode the bus and that bus driver was sooo freakingggg rude, i was too scared to look at her. people say i should give her the benefit of the doubt, but umm...excuse me??!?!?!?!?! she gets PAID to smile and say hi and answer my questions, thats her JOB. i PAY to ride the damn bus service, i expect to get SERVICE!!!!

i swallowed soo much blood today, its not even funny. i gagged on it too.

-taibah out

ps. theres a lake in the superstore parking lot.

gains and losses

2009
a year of change
indeed.

im scared for the future. scared of the days and weeks as they pass. not afraid of myself, but for others and what they'll do to each other to shape my world. i try to be selfish, but its not in my blood. being cold-hearted isnt easy.

im craving a can of some marinated mixed bean salad with cut onions and hot green chili peppers.
im a freak.

-taibah out

blue and white cellphones

Right now im still trying to re-budget myself in order to have a much healthier lifestyle. I find it important to have a healthy lifestyle, as this helps with dealing with our thoughts. I know a lot of people that dont eat properly or dont exercise even the slightest bit, going for a short walk helps sooo much. I wish people would realize that.

ME: just last night
he was mr.awesome
HER:
ya no kidding
welcome to the male sucky jerk world
ME:
hahaha

-taibah out

another trip to sick-land

i always hated visiting the doctors office, but now i REALLYYYYY hate going to see the doctor.

im not ready for surgery :(

-taibah

ive given you all i had

no hello's
just sad goodbyes

-taibah out

3 Subject

been awhile since i wrote a nice blog post....

life has indeed been spinning. and rather then sit around and cry and complain about it, you're suppose to tackle it and tell the world how strong you really are. struggle and submission. wow.

im starting a new job on monday. alhumdulliah. after such a long time, things are finally starting to change for me. i hope to sleep easy now. i used to think 2008 was a crazyyy year, but im stunned to see how 2009 has been playing out. subhanallah. you literally have to expect the unexpected.

ive learned to become selfish. but not with the intention to hurt others. but rather, not let them hurt me. its a dark world. savage. disgusting. and evil. people arent as innocent as they look. what happens in their minds will alway remain a mystery to me. not everybody thinks the same way i do, and thats something i need to keep reminding myself. people are generally born stupid. but its the incidents and experiances in thier lives that keep them categorized into that group called 'decent/normal'. very few exist in that category.

im looking forward to a day to smile to.

-taibah out

this time, things wont be ok

did i ever think in my life? ever?
did i ever use my head?
most likely no.

for once in my life, i have absolutely no one to turn to.
i look around my room and his words from the weekend came back , "we live in a materialistic world and happiness is considered money and items"
what good are these things to me now?

i had worked all day to keep myself happy, and pretend i was satisfied.
but was i really?
what good are these things to me now?

im 20 years old. yet my mind is still playing in dreamland. everything was a "oh well" or "i got time". thinks always seemed to be turning out ok. but did i ever think, for just a moment, that things wont be ok.

it isnt gonna be ok this time.

-taibah out