warped and twisted

if i get too close to you, wake me up, remind me softly to go...
if i forget, wont you, wake me up, remind me...

he says "not to feel a thing,
keep the dream tight"

i cant feel a thing
my dreams are so tight

cant feel anything
my dreams are so tight

....stand in line tonight?

**

if the above doesnt make much sense to you, thats ok. its not suppose to. its just me and my upside down thoughts. i guess its normal, perhaps, maybe, im not sure. do you know? you prob dont. ugh. i want some cheese and crackers. do i have cheese and crackers? no. i have cheese but no crackers. i want pretzels too. infact, im not gonna eat anything right now. its almost 2am and its been a rather eventful evening.

Sham bakhair!
(goodnight in farsi)

-taibah out

ps. i dont know farsi, its just something my dad used to say to me for as long as i can remember. age 3? who knows...

waking up sick

today hasnt really been too good for me.

i woke up for fajr and prayed. when i went back to room, i realize someone has taken one of my pillows away (the waterpillow is gone). i dont mind this too much as i go to my closet and grab one of the 2 extras i keep there (i LOVE sleeping with lots of pillows). I then soon fall asleep.

My mom wakes me up around 8am, she's explaining to me she's heading out for the entire day and reminding me of my chores to get done for the day. she then explains she took away my pillows cause i can damage my neck (lately ive been complaining about intense neck and shoulder pains). im too tired to really pay attention so i just kinda doze off as shes talking.

I wake up finally at 10am, and im feeling really sick. I end up in the washroom throwing up and my stomach still isnt feeling too well. After getting through the dishes and doing laundry and tidying up, my mom had told me to grab some steaks from the freezer for dinner and get them ready for my dad to marinate them when he gets home. I grab the steaks and defrost them, and wash and clean them. My hands smelled really gross so i had to drench them in some Satsuma Body Butter from The Body Shop (LOVE IT!) it took away the smell of fresh meat right away and left me with a sweet juicy smell of citrus fruits.

i want some rice. and my waterpillow back :(

-taibah out

reality check?

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While he was lying there, a cow
came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of
cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually
thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you are in deep shit, it is best to keep your mouth shut!

*taken from an email a friend sent to me

-taibah out

Maps-Yeah Yeah Yeahs

this is one of my favorite bands. its an indie rock group called 'Yeah Yeah Yeahs' and surprisingly they have a "muslim" guitarist. haha. how ironic...

anyways, i could care less about him or his history, but heres the video in high quality.

also, i sang this song today while getting ready to head out for my last sunday morning meeting.

enjoy!





i sang this at a Rockband party and got 98% on it, i think im awesome at singing.

-taibah out

i give up

normally, i used to enjoy hanging out with the girls on Friday nights, but lately it doesnt feel like the old times anymore. i drag myself to prepare the notes and required materials for them, and normally i would have loved doing that. but from recent past events, i have no motivation whatsoever. i frequently remind myself the purpose of why i attend friday nights, but sometimes you feel its finally time to give up....

for me, it all ends June 6th, insha allah.

-taibah out

i recycle my tantrums

subhanallah, what a day indeed.

i skipped class. which isnt very smart, but i had a great afternoon.

i woke up and got ready to head out. it was roughly 10:30am, and it was around 11am by the time i stepped out of the house.

My first stop was heading to the Spa :)
i really like water fountains and quiet places, and free drinks and candy around me. i also like white lab coats, and comfy chairs to read magazines about gardening and cooking. i really enjoyed the atmosphere. I also used my new sunglasses too (for the record, i broke my other ones while getting into bed....i didnt notice i had left it on my bed and broke them)

Next stop, the Forks. We ate at the Old Spaghetti Factory. The washroom's were AWESOME!!! the papertowel dispenser was automatic and it blew my mind away. seriously. my sister and i both ordered the same food and drink. The manicotti and a coke each, we shared the appetizers of the stuff ravioli too. our food took awhile to come, but it was GREAT! and we had wonderful discussions on literally everything. I liked the antique look the restaurant had. I've also decided to have my birthday dinner there this year.

Afterwards we went on a long walk, visiting the little shops at the forks. I grabbed a smoothie and we shared the drink together. I had small flashback memories of the time my father would take me and my 2 older siblings to the fresh market on the weekends at the Forks. That was ages ago, and i cant remember them that much. My favorite shop was this one little place. It had dozens of Incense Sticks in a variety of different scents. Highlight of the day: My sister walking into a display of wind chimes, took ages for that noise to calm down :P

Afterwards we headed to Second Cup on Osbourne. I grabbed an Italian Soda and she got this Tropical Fruit smoothie thing. We sat inside for about 30mins, chatting away, sharing the absolute randomness of things with each other. Then it was time for me to head home. Im rather tired from all the fun we had today.

Sometimes taking a break from things can help calm a person down.

-taibah out.

the wings are white

ever been told to sleep but you know you wont be able to sleep? my neck is terribly sore today.

the other day at work, a freak walked into the store. he was preaching to the napkin rack and the glass coasters. as soon as he walked out, i gave my coworker a hug.

im also looking for a new job, NOT RETAIL! i think my retail days are over. insha allah.

these past few weeks have been strangely odd. i feel as if i have no control of anything. i wake up, and either go to school or work. do i ever do whatever my mind desires? no, defiantly not. i sit down to watch some tv, i pick up the remote and have no idea how to use it. seriously. i only know the volume button and the power button for the tv. sometimes i get confused with the tv power and the receiver power, results to me just walking away without watching anything.

i looked at the flowers yesterday in the front yard. i really like the yellow daffodils. i never liked tulips actually. carnations are wicked flowers too.

sometimes flowers scare me. infact, ive been haunted by a flower plant that used to live with us. for more details PM me, its a complicated story.

its been a good weekend. My sister and her husband gave us a surprise visit. We were limited in the amount of time to spend time with each other, but it was a good visit alhumdulliah

a new blog layout/design is in the works. i dont know when i'll release it. but keep your eyes peeled and do check back often.

my bedroom door is open and this bothers me.

-taibah out