to whine or not to whine?

i don't know if this is true or not, but who else can judge me based on this?

change.

its complicated, you either really like change, or you don't. change can make you happy, or it can make you upset. the options are yours, agree with them or disagree.

the most difficult task, is swallowing that bit of knowledge you and i both have, that change comes as time passes. we've seen it, we've experienced it, we're either happy about it or we're not.

perhaps im just tired?

-taibah out

NEW BANNER

cause im bored and thought it looked alright. im waiting until i get my hands on this new software so i can put up a killer one. in the mean time, enjoy the change of scenery :)

-taibah out

An afternoon at Grand Prix

migrane monday

today i went to work after being off for 2 weeks. I took one week off for Camp, and the next week after was spent with being ill. It was difficult trying to get ready for work this morning, but at the same time it felt good.

i walked into the office and said my hellos to whoever was around, it was just near 7:45am. I didnt plan on getting to my actual desk until 8am, my plan was to grab a Starbucks from Safeway and then enter. I left my tote bag, which carries my Binder and amillion other important papers on a chair in the lounge, i walked out of the office and debated with what drink to get.

As im walking down the sales floor, i realized i should just grab some cash rather than use my debit card. I get to one of the cashiers and decide to buy some gum, sadly i came to know i had left my debit card at HOME!

no Starbucks for taibah today :(

Slightly upset, i walk back to the office. I grabbed my tote bag and walked down the left hall to get to my office. I open the door and the sight of my desk makes me want to hide. SO MANY PAPERS and FILES. I was quite stunned. I knew 2 weeks of not being at work would be rough, esp the buildup of reports and billions of faxes i would have to make. I get started right now.

4 hours pass, very quickly. Its lunchtime, but i dont feel hungry. I havent eaten anything at all, and yet i still felt no hunger. I call up one of the office managers, i tell them im skipping my lunchbreak so i can go home an hour early. Thankfully, they give me their approval.

I was thrilled when 4pm rolled around. tomorrow may be another rough day.

-taibah out

"shes a wild one my love"

why cant i stop laughing?

:D

-taibah out

*breaks out into coughing fit*

shadows

sometimes i just really dont care about the important stuff.

i feel as though society already has my life planned out for me. its a set system. I go to school for a large chunk of my life, for 13 years straight. After that i took afew months off to work and just take a break from it all, and then i entered university life during the second semester of my first year. Ive been going to school since, taking abit of the summer off to just relax. But im expected to continue onwards with my university life, as boring and dragging as it is....i dont think im a student for life, but being a business student has REALLY showed me that im gonna be in school for much longer than the books really say so.

all throughout junior high and high school, my teachers would constantly say the same thing over and over again, the same message has been drilled into my head "dont work for something that you hate".

with the upcoming school year getting closer, my head begins to hurt more often than so. Not only will the university rob me of my savings account, but cause my accounting program that im in (CGA Designation) has been really screwed up this upcoming year. Its a complicated story, but all i know now, im in school for MUCH longer than expected. Perhaps its better that the courses are offered on a "part-time" basis so i can work full-time. The upside: more hours at work mean more money in my pocket. The downfall: i can take only 4 courses a year.

4 courses a year REALLY REALLY slows me down, in the sense of getting my B.Comm. (honors) at this rate...i'll be done my degree AND the accounting designation title of CGA in....7 years?

good grief :(

....mcmasters was and always is another option....right?

-taibah out

:(

CAMP - July 2008 part 2

my neck is sooooo sore, i cant move it....my parents think its tonsillitis, cause it happened to my little sister before. Its very stiff, trying to move it left or right hurts, esp when im praying...OUCH

my last post about camp wasnt very long, cause i was rather tired when i wrote it. Heres a more detailed one of some highlights from camp.

I loved how i had 9 girls looking up to me, this required me to REALLY think about everything that i did, and everything i said infront of them. I never swore at camp, out of fear one of my girls would hear me. ("taibah are you mad with a capital P?")Whatever problem they had, i was suppose to help them with it. Migraines, lost clothes, broken cameras, waking me up at 3am EVERYDAY to get escorted to the washrooms, waking them up for fajr, dragging them out of bed to get ready for breakfast, constantly reminding them to attend their clean-up duties, coaching them through skit and chant prep, building their confidence as we're doing quran reading together, creating a sense of sisterhood between all of them, making sure they finish their food at meal times, kicking them out of my sleeping bag, making sure they've worn deodorant and enough bug spray...

it was challenging in the sense I had to ensure they were having fun regardless of all the rules that have been thrown at them. Alhumdulliah, there were no conflicts between ANY of my girls in the cabin on anything. One of my girl's cried one night cause she heard a jinn story from another cabin, and another one of my girl cried one night cause she had a migraine. Both, equally difficult to manage. Overall, they participated enthusiastically in all activities at camp (except swimming lol)

thats enough about them, more about me! :D

Other than chasing my girls around, i did have ALOT of fun.

The 2 hour hike after Fajr prayer with my friends who were also counselors, canoeing after breakfast in the lake, while the girls were away during Olympics...i would run off to hangout with my own friends/counselors, raiding the fridge in the early morning (only to steal fruit such as apples and a nectarine), i almost jumped a cliff cause my walkie talkie fell out of my pocket and was skidding down the rock, making drug deals lol (insider), scaring campers with my mosquito mask, reflecting and contemplating the mysteries of life while sitting on a giant rock infront of the lake....only to leave when it begins to rain really hard, taking pictures of the sunrise, bossing other campers around lol ("as a counselor, i have the authority to make you finish that one leaf of lettuce from your salad before you can take more seconds of mashed potatoes...now get back to your table"), confiscating magazines and other "inappropriate" reading materials, letting my girls do me favors. I also went swimming this year, in the past, i was too paranoid or scared to bother going into the water. This year i went in, and i really enjoyed it....even tho i dont know how to swim, it was fun splashing around and watching the minnows swim around me. One of my girls in the cabin got a leech on her foot while she was in water (several other campers did too), after that incident ALL my girls were too scared to go in the water...i wasnt however, thank god for water shoes :D

i videotaped my cabin while we presented one of our chants to the entire camp, we ended up winning first place :D

i will upload it on youtube soon, and post a link soon. We "islamified" the song 1234 by Fiest and changed up all the lyrics so that it related to our cabin. yeahhh, this song was MY idea, the girls loved it :)

-taibah out

CAMP - July 2008 part 1

Mentos or gobstobbers anyone? i have a terrible sore throat today :(

ALHUMDULLIAH IM HOME!!!!

feels sooooooooo great to be back. subhanallah, its really an eye opening experience for me to realize how attached i am to my things. Such as my bed and laptop, the washroom, my running water... i think the list is endless lol

but WOW, camp was different this year. to start off with, i wasnt a camper. instead i was counselor of cabin 5 (GO Oompa Loompas!!!), 9 girls were placed under my care, the age-range was 12/13. Three of these girls were from Regina and the rest were locals, some of them i didn't know which was cool cause now we're friends :)

My Girls were hilarious and so unpredictable. Some of them had amazing acting talents which were reflected in our skits, and some got sick too (that night was a total nightmare), but overall we had a great time talking late into the night with each other, singing, laughing, dancing and ofcourse, crying together.

i think i miss them. all of them. :(

the way they'd say my name several times during the day, sometimes at 1am, or at all meal times "umm taibah...?" and then they'd ask me such random questions. Which eyeliner is better to use? what does dawah mean? can i PLEASEEEE have more strawberries on my waffles? can i have more juice? whats the weirdest thing to EVER happened to you? do you like candy? can i take a picture of you? can you do my hair?

*sigh*

they begged me to shut off my walkie talkie/2-way radio that i was required to strap to myself and on at ALL times. they hated how it would go off all the time, but they would admit they enjoyed hearing all the rest of the camp staff having their convo's and listening in on them with it.


top row, left to right: UmmalKhair, Maryam, Saira, Nitasha, Zineb, Huma,
bottom row, left to right: Inaya, Lumterjie, Mimi (Maryam), ME :D

-taibah out

GONE

and im off to camp!!!

be back saturday :)

-taibah out

going....

im off to camp tomorrow morning. and i wont be back until saturday...its a 5 night trip and im rather looking forward to this. I havent started packing yet, im taking all my stuff in a upright-luggage bag...as of now, its empty and sitting in my room agaisnt my closet...

i bought a mini tripod for my camera, i expect to take more pics than i took last year. Last year i took over 300...and ive made sure i got tons of batteries too. I will need to stop at Safeway tomorrow morning to grab more batteries cause im paranoid, and some water (dasani).

im also doing a session at the camp with everyone, my topic which has been assigned to me is called Islam and the Environment. I should get started on getting my notes done for that, they're about halfway done.

i shall return back to my blog perhaps early tomorrow morning, for a final farewell. gotta get my stuff together...i shouldnt take too long, i did ALL my laundry and now its just a matter of putting things in my bag..

this should be fun..NOT!

-taibah out

*gasp*

i know i can just throw my face into this if i could...one day ima learn how to do this iA.

-taibah out

squish and fish

Soul Lifts
A Poem, written by Tess Baumberger

Wouldn't it be great if you could take a picture of your soul?
Then when your mother wanted to brag about you
she could show people the picture and say,
"That's my daughter, doesn't she have a beautiful soul,
all sparkly and many-colored and flowing all around her?"

Wouldn't it be great if we walked around
surrounded by our souls,
so that they were the first things people saw
instead of the last things?
Then people would judge us by who we really are
instead of how we look.
Imagine no more racism, ageism, sexism, fatism, shortism, homophobia.
Imagine falling in love with who a person is,
just by looking at them.

It would be a kind of cloaking device,
hiding physical faults defects or even perfections.
I'd want it to be mandatory.
Then people would work at making their souls more attractive
instead of their bodies and faces.

Imagine people knowing by your soul that you really need a hug.
Imagine people helping each other and their souls changing colors
or growing.

Imagine soul gyms
with exercises to get your sagging soul in shape.
Imagine the long lines forming for soul-lifts
at churches, temples, mosques, synagogues
or nature's grand cathedrals.

....

-taibah out

we're high on cake

i was flipping through some hundred files on my computer that were in my Recycle Bin, and i found this in there. We were having a mini cabin reunion from camp, not everyone was able to come tho.... mine and Maha's birthdays had just passed and the others brought a cake for us.

Enjoy!

-taibah out

right

my right hand underwent some damage at work.

within the first 3 hours at work, my right hand begins to irritate me, i figured they were just dry and applied some lotion to them...it burns. I get up to wash my hands and once they've dried down, all the "peeling" marks begin to take shape. I find my boss.

After finding our First Aid go-to person, they tell me ive had a reaction to some chemicals that have touched my hand. and its promised to have happened earlier in the day. somewhere at work. im thinking it was in the washroom from the sink facets.

We file a report and its faxed right away to Atlanta. My boss leaves to buy me some Polysporin. Atlanta says they'll cover the cost of any visits to the doctor or any medication i need. I like how they care :)

i dont know exactly what i touched, but an entire layer of my skin on my right hand has come off. my hand looks terrible. when i touch my face with my hand, it feels like my fingers have been replaced by sandpaper. it truly both saddens and angers me.

perhaps it'll clear up overnight

*sigh*

-taibah out

crazy coolish stuff

-taibah out

do you hate me too?

today was a weird day.

i woke up pretty late and rushed to the work for another seminar. I walked in, just as we were about to begin. Less than an hour later, we were on break time and i headed to Safeway to grab myself some lemonade :)

Within another hour, i was on my second break. and then 30mins later, i was on lunch break.

one word: tech problems. the laptops are freaking out on us. thankfully i left work at 3pm, 2 hours earlier than predicted. oh wells, more naptime for me!

-taibah out

held on high

<3

i love capris. i wish i could wear them all the time.

-taibah out

Adventures in Safeway

I like going to Safeway (usually), because it isnt very busy and its easy to find stuff there. Its also very clean and quiet there too. But they're stuff is kinda expensive. I like how they put in Starbucks in them.

Yesterday after work, i had to stop at Safeway to grab some Oreo No-Bake Cake Mix. I went inside, found the right aisle and correct product and headed to checkout number 6 to make my purchase. I threw down a pack of gum too.

Theres a young man ahead of me. He's buying pita bread and some artichoke dip and some diet Sprite. I like how he only has 3 items. This means standing in line for checkout wont be too long. An older couple jump in line behind me. They have a cart filled with stuff, i think its their weekly groceries.

After the man ahead of me finished with his purchases, its my turn.
Hello, how are you?
Im good, yourself?
Fantastic. Found everything ok?
yes.
Just the 2 items?
mmhmmm
Club Card? AirMiles?
*hands over AirMiles card and give out my home phone number*
Ok, your total comes to $6.57

At this point, i debated with myself, Cash or Debit? As im opening my wallet, i realize the couple behind me were getting VERY impatient.

The woman was standing not even an inch away from me, i think it couldve been 3 centimeters. My reaction to this, i was kinda weirded out actually. As im filling out my info on the Debit machine, the woman lets out a *SIGH* and taps her feet. I decided to take advantage with this situation.

The purchase goes through and the cashier hands me my receipt. Just to piss off the couple behind me, i dont move. Instead, i start reading every detail on my bill. The woman lets out a bigger SIGH.

i cant blame myself, im dead tired after a 9 hour at work, and the LAST thing i need is someone flipping me off in the Safeway checkout.

-taibah out

a wish is a memory

today i attended another full day seminar, but this time with only 4 hours of sleep. Within the first 20mins my head kept dropping, due to my lack of sleep and energy.

thankfully, we ran into a slight technical difficulty, which lasted about 30mins. We were dismissed during this time and told us we had 15mins to kill. I was in desperate need of coffee, and i figured the closest places to get some was either from Subway (ewww!) or Starbucks.

Normally i dont buy coffee from Starbucks, cause im very loyal to Second Cup mostly. But today, i went against my moral values and bought a Caramel Macchiato, i guess was alright. It kept me alive until my lunch break.

-taibah out