warped and twisted

if i get too close to you, wake me up, remind me softly to go...
if i forget, wont you, wake me up, remind me...

he says "not to feel a thing,
keep the dream tight"

i cant feel a thing
my dreams are so tight

cant feel anything
my dreams are so tight

....stand in line tonight?

**

if the above doesnt make much sense to you, thats ok. its not suppose to. its just me and my upside down thoughts. i guess its normal, perhaps, maybe, im not sure. do you know? you prob dont. ugh. i want some cheese and crackers. do i have cheese and crackers? no. i have cheese but no crackers. i want pretzels too. infact, im not gonna eat anything right now. its almost 2am and its been a rather eventful evening.

Sham bakhair!
(goodnight in farsi)

-taibah out

ps. i dont know farsi, its just something my dad used to say to me for as long as i can remember. age 3? who knows...

waking up sick

today hasnt really been too good for me.

i woke up for fajr and prayed. when i went back to room, i realize someone has taken one of my pillows away (the waterpillow is gone). i dont mind this too much as i go to my closet and grab one of the 2 extras i keep there (i LOVE sleeping with lots of pillows). I then soon fall asleep.

My mom wakes me up around 8am, she's explaining to me she's heading out for the entire day and reminding me of my chores to get done for the day. she then explains she took away my pillows cause i can damage my neck (lately ive been complaining about intense neck and shoulder pains). im too tired to really pay attention so i just kinda doze off as shes talking.

I wake up finally at 10am, and im feeling really sick. I end up in the washroom throwing up and my stomach still isnt feeling too well. After getting through the dishes and doing laundry and tidying up, my mom had told me to grab some steaks from the freezer for dinner and get them ready for my dad to marinate them when he gets home. I grab the steaks and defrost them, and wash and clean them. My hands smelled really gross so i had to drench them in some Satsuma Body Butter from The Body Shop (LOVE IT!) it took away the smell of fresh meat right away and left me with a sweet juicy smell of citrus fruits.

i want some rice. and my waterpillow back :(

-taibah out

reality check?

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While he was lying there, a cow
came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of
cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually
thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
1. not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. And when you are in deep shit, it is best to keep your mouth shut!

*taken from an email a friend sent to me

-taibah out

Maps-Yeah Yeah Yeahs

this is one of my favorite bands. its an indie rock group called 'Yeah Yeah Yeahs' and surprisingly they have a "muslim" guitarist. haha. how ironic...

anyways, i could care less about him or his history, but heres the video in high quality.

also, i sang this song today while getting ready to head out for my last sunday morning meeting.

enjoy!





i sang this at a Rockband party and got 98% on it, i think im awesome at singing.

-taibah out

i give up

normally, i used to enjoy hanging out with the girls on Friday nights, but lately it doesnt feel like the old times anymore. i drag myself to prepare the notes and required materials for them, and normally i would have loved doing that. but from recent past events, i have no motivation whatsoever. i frequently remind myself the purpose of why i attend friday nights, but sometimes you feel its finally time to give up....

for me, it all ends June 6th, insha allah.

-taibah out

i recycle my tantrums

subhanallah, what a day indeed.

i skipped class. which isnt very smart, but i had a great afternoon.

i woke up and got ready to head out. it was roughly 10:30am, and it was around 11am by the time i stepped out of the house.

My first stop was heading to the Spa :)
i really like water fountains and quiet places, and free drinks and candy around me. i also like white lab coats, and comfy chairs to read magazines about gardening and cooking. i really enjoyed the atmosphere. I also used my new sunglasses too (for the record, i broke my other ones while getting into bed....i didnt notice i had left it on my bed and broke them)

Next stop, the Forks. We ate at the Old Spaghetti Factory. The washroom's were AWESOME!!! the papertowel dispenser was automatic and it blew my mind away. seriously. my sister and i both ordered the same food and drink. The manicotti and a coke each, we shared the appetizers of the stuff ravioli too. our food took awhile to come, but it was GREAT! and we had wonderful discussions on literally everything. I liked the antique look the restaurant had. I've also decided to have my birthday dinner there this year.

Afterwards we went on a long walk, visiting the little shops at the forks. I grabbed a smoothie and we shared the drink together. I had small flashback memories of the time my father would take me and my 2 older siblings to the fresh market on the weekends at the Forks. That was ages ago, and i cant remember them that much. My favorite shop was this one little place. It had dozens of Incense Sticks in a variety of different scents. Highlight of the day: My sister walking into a display of wind chimes, took ages for that noise to calm down :P

Afterwards we headed to Second Cup on Osbourne. I grabbed an Italian Soda and she got this Tropical Fruit smoothie thing. We sat inside for about 30mins, chatting away, sharing the absolute randomness of things with each other. Then it was time for me to head home. Im rather tired from all the fun we had today.

Sometimes taking a break from things can help calm a person down.

-taibah out.

the wings are white

ever been told to sleep but you know you wont be able to sleep? my neck is terribly sore today.

the other day at work, a freak walked into the store. he was preaching to the napkin rack and the glass coasters. as soon as he walked out, i gave my coworker a hug.

im also looking for a new job, NOT RETAIL! i think my retail days are over. insha allah.

these past few weeks have been strangely odd. i feel as if i have no control of anything. i wake up, and either go to school or work. do i ever do whatever my mind desires? no, defiantly not. i sit down to watch some tv, i pick up the remote and have no idea how to use it. seriously. i only know the volume button and the power button for the tv. sometimes i get confused with the tv power and the receiver power, results to me just walking away without watching anything.

i looked at the flowers yesterday in the front yard. i really like the yellow daffodils. i never liked tulips actually. carnations are wicked flowers too.

sometimes flowers scare me. infact, ive been haunted by a flower plant that used to live with us. for more details PM me, its a complicated story.

its been a good weekend. My sister and her husband gave us a surprise visit. We were limited in the amount of time to spend time with each other, but it was a good visit alhumdulliah

a new blog layout/design is in the works. i dont know when i'll release it. but keep your eyes peeled and do check back often.

my bedroom door is open and this bothers me.

-taibah out

sad worlds?

her: how old r u
me: 19
her: haha
me: if only i could tamper my birth certificate
her: …if only you could tamper time
me: indeed
me: wow
me: could you imagine
me: the world
her: it’d be friggin messed up b/c of you
me: yeah no kidding
me: what would i do….
her: i’d go back to the time when muslims were strong and united, and make sure it'd stay that way
me: that’s a good idea actually
me: i have no idea what i would …perhaps just switch the years on my birth certificate
her: simple is always best
me: yeah true
me: ever watched that movie
me: the butterfly effect?
her: ya. i love it
me: what are you talking about?
me: it was sooooooooo disturbing
her: which is why it was good!
me: eww you have a sick mind
me: jk
me: lol
her: no. its true. i think i’d be a psychopath if i wasn’t muslim
me: LMAO
me: i still love you
her: haha. that’s good to know

-taibah out

you're changing your heart

I didnt wear a black hijab to the event on thursday evening. Yes, my mother was rather shocked, not only cause of that, but cause i was wearing a skirt aswell. She's used to seeing me in my dark jeans from Bluenotes or The Gap, or my funky zip ups or neck-scarves from Bootlegger or Buffalo Shop.

I stepped out of my room that late afternoon, light brown blazer from Bootlegger, Embrodried shirt from Suzy Shier, and dark skirt from Aqua. My hijab was from Toronto. A printed brownish tan wrap around with breezy tassels. My black headband under the hijab was on too tight as my ears slightly hurt. I also stabbed myself on the top part of my left ear while pinning my hijab down. As im packing my purse with the nessasary items one usually has in their handbags, i pause to admire my nails.

They are smexy.

They're called Carribean Frost. Took me nearly an hour to do them the night before. I love the greenish blue color and the satin feel it gives. Theres no need to do a finishing coat of clear on them, as my nails simply have that natural look. Im rather satisfied with the shape of my hands and my nails. I inherit this amazing feature from my mother. Slender shaped fingers arent too common in the world, thankfully i have a decent shaped pinky unlike the rest of my siblings.

I zip up my purse and head out of the house. Careful to not step on the ends of my skirt, I take pride in the fact I know how to walk in heels. Working in a mall environment gives me the opportunity in watching little blondes trying to casually walk in the oh-too-tall heels. My shoes are from The Bay, and i loved them soo much i bought them in 2 colors. Both brown and black. My mother and I are both 7 1/2 in our shoe sizes. Its great, cause shes also crazy about shoes too. We both adore the Mary-Jane styles.

I arrive at the masjid side entrance. Only to notice its locked and im late for the program by roughly 15mins. I simply pull out my phone and call one friend to get her to open the door. Yet she doesnt answer. I called 6 people. None answered.

I walk to the main entrance of the masjid, and yes, the door is locked. Surprisingly, i was not frustrated. Instead, I laughed. I pull out my phone and call my brother. He agrees to opening the side entrance doors for me.

As i enter the main hall i enjoy the clickity sounds of my heels. I realize im not wearing the kuffiya my mother placed on my dresser. I notice im interrupting a calm event, and that i should grab a seat quickly. My first thoughts are 'NEVER WILL I PUT THIS MUCH EFFORT IN MY OUTFIT....unless its needed for a certain purpose. Took so long, gracias.

I grab a seat next to people i dont know. I dont mind, im in the House of Allah and therefore everyone can be my friend there, cause we treat everyone with mutual respect when we're there.

I listen to the speakers and the poems. I hear the sadness in their words. I see their emotions of pain in their voices. I understand their perceptions and views. My mind draws it in, one word at a time, one expression at a time. I look around me, and everyone is wearing the Khuffiya scarf...almost everyone. I did not wear one. The images on the walls describe suffering and pain.

You can call me heartless if you wish. But to be honest, i felt emotionless sitting there. My mind wanders, spinning at the quiet environment im in. "My mother died" makes me snap back into reality. I listen to the woman speak, she gives us a glimpse of her past, of her suffering, and her strong ability to tolerate. I admire her for this.

We begin our moment of silence. However, im not thinking of Palestine. Im not thinking of the suffering in the camps there. Im not thinking of the checkpoints and strong issues agaisnt the people of Palestine. I think of the Muslim Ummah and the lifestyle I live. I think of my own backyard, Canada.

Darfur? Kashmir? Afghanistan?
Simply because they arent part of arab nations, does that single them out of not having a moment of silence for them? They too are people who are suffering. They too are people who have pain. They too are people that live in camps. They too are people living in areas of civil unrest. Perhaps they were thrown out of their houses? Perhaps they were bombed too?

I think of the country I live in. Canada. Alhumdulliah, I live in peace, I walk around outside alone and no one asks me for ID to cross the streets. I get on and off buses without any fear. I work for my money and spend as I please. Being a female doesnt limit me in this country as it will in other countries. I practise my religion with pride and without fear. I live in a house, surrounded by people who mean everything to me. I can visit a doctor and the dentist within minutes. I can buy my food fresh. I wear hijab, to work, school and around to public places, taking it in with pride my identity as a Canadian Muslim. Yes, I do encounter ignorant people at times, but Alhumdulliah, nothing serious.

The point im trying to make is, yes, like many people, i live a good lifestyle alhumdulliah. and im rather satisfied with that. this puts me in a position to help thoes who are suffering and are less fortunate. My biggest thing is that, you dont have to ONLY help people who are ONLY Muslim or ONLY Arab. Arent we all human? Perhaps before jumping across the ocean to the desert regions of arabia, lets work on issues we face here, at home, in Canada. If you cant do that, then rather than focusing on one particular group, say Palestine for instance, let try grouping them together. Lets have a moment of silence for all the suffering people together. Lets all give the other places just as much importance we give to Palestine. Lets all work together, united, be muslim or non-muslim, we can fight for the rights of innocent people who dont know we're supporting them. Lets all raise awareness of places of people who live in pain and suffering. A non-arab has no superiority over a an arab, and an arab has no superiority over a non-arab. We dont do this for the sake of fame or something to brag about. Just dont limit yourself to Palestine.

do i hear a takbeer and allahu akbar?

-taibah out

ps. if you dont agree, thats ok. i still love you all.

be cheerful, strive to be happy

sometimes i need a hug. usually when people around i hug my laptop screen or i go see Ernie.

Back in the winter of 1991, Ernie was given to me as my gift from Dad's work Christmas Party. At first, i hated Ernie. I was rather disappointed actually. My sister had gotten a jewelery box or something cooler than a Sesame Street character.

But as days went by, i began to develop a deep friendship with Ernie. Everywhere i went, Ernie went. I still have several pictures of me clutching him in my small hands, or Ernie poking at the table of my sister's 5th birthday party. I gave him haircuts too. Ernie and I had a great bond during my early years with him.

In winter of 1992, I embarked a journey along with my entire family. We went to Pakistan for 9 months. Ernie was with me the entire plane ride (along with my Barbie doll, Ariel from The Little Mermaid). After the long 9 months, it was time to head back home. Alhumdulliah, we made it safe...little did i know, my precious Ernie would spend the next 14 years in Pakistan without me.

:(

During May 2006, half of my family went on a 2 month visit to Pakistan. I stayed back mainly due to me being in grade 12 and the fact it was my graduating year. While the family took off to Pakistan, several relatives were coming back from their visits to Pakistan. While welcoming them back home, i stuck around to checkout some pictures they had taken from their visit.

I usually over analyze images to find finer details in them. For some odd reason, its just a habit. As im viewing the images, my uncle passes me a CD, explaining to me he's put together some pictures we'd find interesting to look at from his trip. I head home and the next day i checkout the mystery CD.

It starts off with images of his children, my cousins. Running around in the green fields of rural areas of Pakistan. Historical sites and important regions. The riverfront lots and busy streets of the marketplaces in both villages and city center zones. Then the pictures of cousins and relatives and of people i didnt know existed, yet were still related. As im laughing away to a picture of my favorite little cousin playing in a room which brought back memories from 14 years ago to my mind, my eyes began to wander...

Ernie. there he was. upside down below the straw matted day bed. My jaw drops in utter shock and disbelief. Im at a loss of words completely. I cant help but to shed some silent tears, and i cant take my eyes off the image.

As those 2 months passed, my family returned from Pakistan. For me, they bring me back someone special. His name is Ernie.

*photo taken May 13th, 2008

-taibah out

5am sleeplessness

-taibah out

the sky is grey

dont let yesterday take too much of today- Will Rogers

my head doesnt hurt today. i woke up and my left hand was soooooo numb it hurt. i dont know how that happened. but it was rather amusing trying to use my left hand.

i think im craving something but i dont quite know what...

-taibah out

last night's post

Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It’s a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you’ve been hurt. –Tom Gates

I normally hate Friday, because there is too much happening at once on that day. But now, I’ve began to hate Sundays. I guess you could say I hate weekends?

I feel over exhausted and tired on sunday afternoons. which is why im resulted to taken a nap around 3pm till 9pm and it feels great. its very refreashing and mind clearing it helps me to calm down.

people think im paranoid, that im a drama queen, that im over dramatic, that im over sensitive, that i take things too personally.

if more than one person tells you that in the time span of 3 hours, i think id have to agree with them.

i normally dont hate people for no reason. i give people the chance to ruin themselves yet i never provoke them to. i know people who are too good for words for themselves people who seem to be right about everything for no reason.

...this post doesn't seem to make any sense, its cause my thoughts are jumping inside my mind. theres too much happening, the world spins to fast, i have a migrane and im crying but i dont enjoy this cry. as each tear falls its pain and anger. its hot tears. i hate migranes, i hate certain people. i hate how people think im some sweet little thing they can just toss around. i hate how people think they can verbally abuse me, i hate how people dont listen to me. i hate being neglected. am i yearning that feeling of being wanted? perhaps..

i tolerate alot of bullshit in my life. esp these past years. its been a rough hike and im exhausted. but shit happens to everyone, not just me. i cant take any more steps cause my heart hasnt recovered from being stepped on and torn. the only things holding it together are the fragments of memories of me actually laughing, or me actually smiling.

why do i sound so sad?

i hold grudges but cant change that fact about myself. sometimes people deserve it. i find that whenever i talk to someone about how i deeply feel or try to make them understand they simply jump to conclusions. telling me that im the one whos wrong. its like...im the one with the screwed up views. or that i cant ever be the one whos right.

im sooo sick of tolerating people and their irrationalness of the human they've become.

i tried soo hard to see the good in people, try to shed light on thoes who've had a questionable past. it was a waste of time.

ive become a bitter person over the past few months, i dont find it to be healthy and no matter how hard i try to please certain people, try my best to create a happier me

i cant even write how i feel. as soon as one thought enters, another one comes 10x's as fast and thus the cycle continues.

i dont care who reads this and why. this is my blog. my ownership on the net.you got a problem with i have to say, then simply leave. i need to rest but i cant. my eyes are a deep red now and my head is pounding. the tissue box is full. i cant stop.

when i explain myself to others, they get the wrong message. my thoughts are a jumbled and sometimes only half the story comes out. this leaves the listener puzzled. and sometimes they'd give the wrong advice.

damnit, why am i still here???
my body wants to rest but my mind isnt letting it.
another caffiene high? no, god no.

am i upset? hell ya!

-taibah out

keys?

Now, its Saturday morning. After being dropped off at home (HOME SWEET HOME), i ring the front door doorbell. I turn around and see my sister continue to drive down the street, unaware of what i would i have to face very soon. No one answers. I ring the doorbell again. Again, no answer.

I decided to head to back door, yet i realize, i cant open the gate. My father has this complicated lock system on the fence. Its a 6ft high fence that surrounds our house and me being 5ft 3' makes it VERY difficult to try to get inside the secure premises of my own house. After trying afew times, i head back to the front door and ring the bell again. Once again, no answer.

Usually in the past, whenever i forgot my keys inside my bedroom and was locked out of the house, i always managed to figure out a logical way to get back inside. I've broken into my house several times. I did it 4 days in a row back in grade 11. My mother was in the US visiting relatives, my dad was away at work during the day, siblings away at school or work during the day. The way the system worked in grade 11, i would endup coming home first out of everyone. however, forgetful me, would always forget my keys sitting on my desk, dresser, or sometimes right on the kitchen table...

this resulted to me coming inside through the window from the backside of the house. Yes, my neighbours would look at me oddly, but thankfully my dad would forget to shut his bedroom window that morning, which is the ultimate key to climbing in from the windows. Had the window been shut, i would have to sit and wait for one of my siblings to come along and use their housekeys.

But this morning however, none of the windows were open.

Anyways, I realize my celly is still with me, and i call my home phone number, the only thing that answers is "Hi you've reached the Awans, but we're not around to take your call, please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you as soon as we can! Thank you!" I simply hangup.....

Before calling my dad's cell or my brother's cell, i decided to grab my keys from my usual pocket of my backpack. However, when i looked, they werent there. Simply cause i forgot to take them with me and had left them on my bed....

I sit down beneath the pine tree, and its 10:30am. Saturday morning's cool crisp weather made me kinda chilly so i tried to keep myself warm. I begin to dial my dad's cell number....yet i get a call from a friend before i can even finish dialing his number. I talked on the phone for about 10mins with this friend and she offers to come pick me up once she realizes im locked out of my home. I thank her for the offer since its very kind of her to mention that, yet i told her it wasnt nessesary since my closest relatives lived only 2 streets away.

After that phone conversation, I dial my father's cell again. This time, he answers and laughs when i explain to him my situation. He says to me he's nowhere near the house and that id have to find a different solution. He also told me my brother was home and that i should try ringing the bell again....perhaps ali was in the shower? (for the record, yeah he was lol)

My dad then keeps talking about the technique for opening the gate. We hangup and i ring the doorbell again. This time, ali answers.

-taibah out.

broken and beautiful

would the title really describe me? my nose is runny....

im suppose to be sleeping right now. yet i cant. this is what happens, when i dont sleep at my own house lol. ugh and i didnt bring the water pillow or the cranium game. oh wells....ROCKBAND kept me well entertained earlier...and some episodes of trailer park boys...im rather hungry right now, but this isnt my house im currently in right now...so i feel like its wrong to just walk to the fridge and throw together a killer salad. lol, i do help myself to Tropicana o.j.

Rockband was alot of fun today. i was on guitar and i loved that song by the band called Garbage, its called 'I think im paranoid"...reminded me alot of myself.

i should be sleeping, but i'll ssee what happens when i try to sleep...

-taibah out

smile darling....cause it confuses me

i dont know why i feel so tired today, i woke about 4 hours ago and my neck is soooo sore. i dont know why, and i cant blame my pillow, cause its a water pillow and water pillows cant harm your neck in any way...

the other night i spent at my sister's place and i couldn't sleep cause she didnt have a water pillow so i was flipping around the entire night.

readers, i have a message for you all....i cant download that song from Feist, called 1, 2, 3, 4....and so if any of you, i would greatly appreciate it if you can send me a copy of it cause i LOVE that song, infact im listening to it, via youtube however.

regardless, its a really gray day outside today and i cant help but feel insanely sleepy right now...im sitting a one of the leather couches in Human Ecology lounge on campus and i just wanna crash here sooo badly right now, but im scared someone might steal tap-tap (beloved laptop...) and maybe my textbook?

even tho im in a public place right now, i would TOTALLY sing along to this song if no one else was around....say in the empty bus shelters?

i wish someone could yell at me right now. i want someone to scream at me about something, anything. i wish my sister zenab lived nearby, she was great at doing that. i got a cut on my right index finger, its a killer looking cut. I havent used a bandage for it, cause it feels like i deserve the pain of it.

-taibah out

Rapture

rapture n. The state of being transported by a lofty emotion; ecstasy. An expression of ecstatic feeling.
Source: http://www.answers.com/topic/rapture

i guess its suppose to be a good thing...

-taibah out

HEADACHE

damn

so im at my sister's house today, and i open the fridge, im dead thirsty. Next thing i know, im shooting down a can of coca-cola, and it felt GREAT!

well, not anymore, i got an insane headache right now and it does not feel good. My body was not expecting that caffiene after having none for 16 days......

damnit im regretting it sooo much, but its amazing i made it this far

anyways, i want a slurpee so im heading out now...yeah i know its past midnight

-taibah out

he says 'my dreams are so tight'

last night was interesting.

i had my books all over my bedroom floor. Next to that was a can of sprite, next to that sat my laptop named Tap-Tap. I love studying while im wearing my pj's. I did have a zip-up on cause my room gets really chilly when the door isn't open. I get rather stiff when im studying on the floor, but if feels good sometimes.

i think last night, i barely used my msn. I got tons of work thrown ahead of me for the next 2 weeks and my class starts on Monday iA.

After coming back to my room to refill my glass of water, i got a call on my phone, but the ringer SCARED me i jumped and hit my head against the door. You cant blame me, cause its late at night and you're totally not expecting any calls in the dead of the night. The call wasn't very important either lol

I then sat down to continue reading and highlighting my textbook, and my nose began to get runny...or so i thought. I let out a sneeze yet to block it from hitting my laptop screen i used my left arm to block it. I was HORRIFIED to see the blood on my white zip-up sleeve. I cant stand the sight of blood, makes me feel very queasy.

I got up and went to the washroom, and sure enough my nose was bleeding, pretty badly actually. I've only had a nosebleed twice in my childhood so im not used to things like this. Thankfully, im first aid certified and knew how to handle the situation. For those of you that don't know: Pinch and lean forward.

It was kinda painful and abit of a challenge for me to do that, thanks to my nosering. But typically nosebleeds don't last for very long, so it wasn't anything terribly major.

I did wash the sleeve of my zip-up right away and then threw it in my laundry basket, to which i had to grab another zip-up to wear.

This whole incident took about 10-15mins of my precious study/sleep time.

anyways, back to note-making...

-taibah out

May? already??

subhanallah, its the month of May. Its amazing how time flies, seems like just yesterday my sisters' had just got married...

right now im the Human Ecology Lounge on campus. Im the only person here and it feels eerie, yet i love how i can concentrate. I know my classes dont start till monday, but i got my list of Readings emailed to me...and midterm is on the 14th. YIKES!

so far ive made it to page 5, i gotta read upto 501 for the midterm. May Allah swt. help me achieve this. perhaps sitting alone here is really a blessing to help me study. who knows?

Atleast the topic isnt dry, im reading chapter one "Managerial Accounting and the Business Environment", its actually pretty interesting.

As soon as this month is over, ima REALLY work hard on getting a better job, something more respectable and motivating, yet challenging.

i forgot my sunglasses in the prayer room on campus, gotta remember to grab them before i head home...

back to highlighting the white pages of my stiff new shiny textbook...

-taibah out

ps. im on day 14 of being "drug free" from caffeine. thanks to everyone for their support and words of encouragement. it really meant alot to me, without your guys' soft words, who knows if i could even last this far? its still a struggle but i've gotten much stronger now. you know who you are. thank you.