sweet beginnings to arrive

Insha Allah, tomorrow will be the first day of Ramadhan.

I am truly thrilled,

and i shall embark a journey, climbing through the struggles and obstacles of patience and self control. Grasping the moments to repent and pray, shifting my problems out the windows as if they never existed. Opening my eyes to a day of opportunity, as if it were my last. Uttering not a word of hate or dirt to myself or others.

Polish and shine the purity of my soul, that is the mission.

Jumping out of sad thoughts and anger, the word stress will not exist. Accept the beauty of quietness and reflect on the sheer happiness of others at this time.

Its gonna be a good one this year, can you feel it? Cause i sure can :D

Ramadhan Mubarak, and wasalaam to you too Satan man ;)

-taibah out :D

They twinkle as the boys play rock and roll...

Guess who finally got themselves a new phone? :D

yay for me!

i had initially went to the mall with my brother on friday to simply take him birthday shopping as his birthday gift from me (since i had totally forgotten it was his birthday etc.). Once we stepped inside the mall, i asked him if we could just zip into the Telus store to just LOOK at new phones we could get when our contract (we're on a joint plan) would end in 2 weeks. The associate at the Telus store got us to renew the contract right away and sold me and my brother new phones.

I bought my brother the Samsung Infinity. Im not a fan of the whole touch technology, my father and brother are.

I settled for a Samsung phone too, mine is a A523, it has 4 touch buttons, but its a slidey :D
im trying to get used to it, i still love my nokia, it was my best phone ever!

-taibah out

it

Im so far from it.
It's so far.
So far away you are.
I wish to hold it, feel it and touch it.
Care for it, be with it, and call it mine.
I want it to belong to me.
Only so i can say "it's mine".
Will i ever get it?
Will it ever come to me?

This i dont know.

Its unknown what will happen. Im tired from you and it.
It has become a drug, i need it. It needs me.

I love it.

-taibah out

platinum

oh dear.
my room is quite messy, but today i cant bring myself to get up and clean the mess.
i pickup on item, play around with it, and then put it down. proceed to next item. never-ending cycle i think. nothing goes in the right spot, because they simply move to new locations.

why am i like this today?

my mind is wandering away, it wants to explore old memories and past decisions ive made in my lifetime.

-taibah out

is that laughter i hear?

perhaps im just hearing things.

"shes a wild one my love"

maybe your definition of wild wasnt correct.
or maybe mine wasnt?

its amazing how Allah SWT shows us ways to view the real side of people.

-taibah out

car alarms

i bite.

-taibah out

let me tell you about hardwork.

i think my neck is gonna fall off :(

i wake up at 4am these days. simply to get to work for 6am. i get home usually by 3pm.

its sad how i can watch the sunrise from my office window :(

-taibah out

ankle socks

i love socks. i have a bizzare obsession with them.
i own several different kinds of socks.
i have too many to count. alhumdulliah :)

today when i got dressed for work, i grabbed a pair of white puma ankle socks. i put them, i liked the way they looked, clean and crisp, fitting.

i get to work and the day goes by as usual. after getting through my major pile of filing from last week, i decided to head to safeway to buy some crackers (i have odd cravings for dry snacks). I get up from my desk and check my pockets to see if i have any cash with me, thankfully i do. I walk out of the office.

I decided to head to safeway by walking through the sales floor. i pass by the lumber run, the pro desk is overflowing with boxes for some reason. I walk by the tool corral, and passed the kitchen installs office. Im halfway out the side seasonal doors when i realize theres something in either my sock or my shoe.

By this time, im already outside, i decided to ignore it and head towards safeway. it takes me less than a minute to get inside. 20 seconds later, ive found the correct aisle. that THING in my shoe/sock is driving me crazy.

i decided to head to an empty aisle. i endup in the candy aisle looking at the different varieties of chewing gum. No one is around, its only 2pm in the afternoon. Im wearing adidas slides, so i simply take my right foot out of my shoe. I glance around to make sure no is coming down the hall, thankfully no ones there :)

i check the inside of my shoe, i dont see anything. that can only mean one thing...the THING had to be in my sock! lol

i glance around again, and think to myself...WHY NOW?!

i get down on the floor, so im kneeling infront of granola bars now. i slowly take off my sock and there it is....a tiny tiny pebble that was driving me insane! i toss it aside and look to my right, a kid is running down the aisle, i panicked and put my sock back on. i looked back towards him, but he's already gone. I slide my shoe back on. I stand up and walk away.

im normal. rite?
:D

-taibah out

call center drama

as of now, i look back at this incident that happened earlier today and laugh pretty hard at it. however at the time, i was more in a 'OMG WTF?!' feeling of emotion.

perhaps i was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. allow me to explain.

my dad and I are both talking to each other in the living room. im sprawled out on the floor, while he is sitting across me sipping his hot tea. we're having a great conversation about composting and such when the home telephone begins to ring. the cordless phone is within my arms reach so i grab it. i looked at the caller ID screen and say to my dad "area code 207, whats that?"

he didnt know and tells me to answer it.

me: hello
guy: ohhh hi, may i talk to mr. awan?
me: uhhh just a second

*dad shakes his head and says 'im not here"*

me: sorry, he's not available right now, may i take a message?
guy: are you his wife?

*dad bursts out laughing*

me: NO! im his daughter!
guy: im terribly sorry, are you above the age of 18?
me: yeah, sorry, why are you calling us?
guy: im calling from XYZ hydro electric Co. with a new offe---
me: *interrupts* im sorry, we only deal with local companies that we're more familiar with, thanks for calling
guy: is your mother around?
me: no, she isnt home. please take our phone number off your phone list.
guy: how old are you?
me..uhhh 20 *lies*
guy: whats your name?
me...my name is taibah, will take our number off your phone list?
guy: suree, ill do that for you taibah. may i ask you something? are you muslim?
me: ummmmmmm yeah?

*dad's still laughing and sipping his tea*

me: ok, i have to end this call now, thanks for calling, but im sorry we're not interested in whatever you have to offer.
guy: *silence*....is there anything you want to ask me?
me: WTF?! "noooooo?"
guy: so taibah, what are you studying?

*dad stops laughing*

me: you dont need to know that. im hanging up now. bye.
CLICK

can you say...awkward moment infront of your dad? lol
i says to my dad "what a wierdo", my dad says they all are.

the phone rings again, the caller ID says area code 207. i let my dad answer it.

a guy was attempting to hit on me over the phone. i feel flattered LOL

-taibah out

:)

rock'n it out, taibah stylzzz

subhanallah, its a really hot day today.

i awoke this morning around 11am, i fell asleep just after 4am. Yesterday was quite the eventful day. I attended 2 picnics, which was very tiring. The first one i didnt really stick around to chill or do much, other than eat. The second one, (the one i wasnt too thrilled to attend), was ALOT of fun.

It was the Pakistan Independence Day Picnic, i was very impressed with the turnout of just a fraction of the local pakistani community. A cricket match was just ending when i arrived, and the giant grills were warming up to get the bbq food ready for the hundreds of people that were there.

My family decided to have our own fun, rather than sitting around in the grass, we jumped up and kicked off our shoes and socks, pulled back our sleeves and started a game of frisbee toss. This one kid kept getting in the way, he wanted to play with us, we had no clue who he was. After letting him toss the frisbee for abit, he ran off with it....we played football instead :D

I realize my brother has a REALLY strong force in his arms, as he tossed the football to me, and i ran sideways to catch it, my fingers are pulled back painfully at the force of speed the football is flying at. I sat in the grass while i waited for the intense pain to calm down, afterwards, i joined in on the game again.

Since we were barefoot, my feet had some weird nasties on them when i put my socks back on.

its too hot in my room, i need so shut my laptop off, its generating too much heat i think.

-taibah out

please dont die.

just when i thought all my worries for my nokia were over, disaster strikes again.

this time, its a virus.

dont ask how, or what..it just is. perhaps slowly, it will eat away at the inner phone OS and ill lose everything. my contract is over in early september, im due for a new phone and plan anyways...

DONT DIE ON ME YET!!!

-taibah out
:(

ramblings from the green book

heres a piece from my green Writers Notebook, its dated June 25, 2008 4:34pm:

Waking up to new fear and lost expressions. Trying to piece together the moments of undecided smiles. Touching the moments of sheer reasons to not move, not say, not want and not believe.
Honey. The sweet aroma of the natural substance, too intense to eat, and truly an astonishment of sweetness to hit your senses.
Grease and unmoving, a layer of each brings deep such a distraction of choice and reasoning.
The back aches, like an awakening of a third republic? The feeling of flesh being ripped away from the bone. The staining nerves and muscle impulses.

-taibah out

*screams*

i HATE registering for courses for school!
omg, i wanna smash my laptop out of frustration and annoyance.

hate.it.
go.die.

-taibah out :)

'pleased to meet yaaaaaaaaaa

its 3am.
im craving lasagna. but i dont have any :(

are my hormones screwed over? i think so.

"shes a wild one my love" :P

-taibah out

<3

'cause i want yaaaaa!

my 2nd last phone bill arrived today, i CANT wait till i fix up my contract soon. I should seriously watch what i do with my phone.

im paying over $300 on this bill.

santo cielo!

-taibah out

the masjid, part 3

i attended jummah on friday. i was in the lower level again, thanks to some "womanly issues" lol

i dont recall what the khutbah was about, cause i came kinda late, but there was masha allah alot of people that day.

while everyone got up to pray, a woman was having some difficulty keeping her son nearby while she could line up to pray with everyone else. he was a small toddler and wanted to play with another elderly lady's walking stick. The mother of this small child was trying hard to contain her child, he wasnt making any noise however. I watched and walked upto the woman and told her i would watch her son while she could pray. The look on her face was amazing, she smiled and thanked me. He son blinked at me afew times while i began to keep him entertained. As he's poking at my rings im wearing, i glance around at other small babies and toddlers that were nearby.

4 little girls, they were around 2/3 years old each. Each was dressed amazingly, their hair pulled back, styled cutely with ribbons or pins, innocent expressions, genuine smiles. They watched each other intently, eager to befriend one another, pointing at each other and then at the door to begin an adventure to explore the rest of the masjid. Finally one girl whipsered 'c'mon!', some skipped, some scurried towards the door. They watched each other cautiously.

i watched with tears in my eyes. the prayer ends, my friend says 'why are you crying taibah?', i wipe my eyes and point....

"them"

-taibah out

iced caps

sooo relaxed rite now, alhumdulliah :)

yoga pants and kurta shirt, i also did my nails afew days ago. kicked the socks off, and just enjoying the sounds of the birds chirping away, and leaves rustling against each other in the wind.

im off from work till wednesday, they're upgrading some thing in the computers so they dont need me around for that. im quite happy with these days off, the past few weeks in the office were pretty hectic.

hot days and cool nights, the essence of summer is slowly coming to an end.

i cant move, im sooooo comfortable right now :)

-taibah out

masha allah

-taibah out

sleepless nights again

the world of taibah spins

i feel as tho my interaction to humans has fallen since ive come home from camping. being exposed to so many people and then it just jumps down to just a fraction of that amount. i feel lonely :(

perhaps its a good thing? i dont know

i read alot of people's blogs and sometimes i think "wow, they write such interesting blogs, i wish i sounded as intelligent as them". and then i come back to my own blog and think to myself that i need to sound intelligent. telling myself that doesnt work.

we're down to our last month of summer. its been a cold summer this year, we rarely had our AC on. i gotta look over my list of to-dos again...

i want pretzels. i'll go get some now.

-taibah out

its baacccccccccccckkk!

my uncle dropped off the charger, my life is saved :D

-taibah out

i feel lost

my phone. my nokia. my beloved device that spent most of its days in my hands. that thing i spend so much time and money on, you're sleeping.

see, its not dead, my charger just decided to stop working and ive gone 3 days without a charge on the nokia. i simply need a new charger, thats all.

thankfully, my very own uncle has a MASSIVE collection of cellphones that he's gone through. infact, he had the same nokia as me at one point. yesterday i called him up and explained to him i needed the a nokia charger, he told he'd lend it to me.

problem solved right? WRONG!

so yesterday i wasnt able to get a hold of the charger, neither was i able to get it today. sad part is, he lives only 2 streets away LOL

patiently waiting
-taibah out

raspberries and lemonade

thanks to my boss, he knocked over my drink today in the office. he bought me ice cream to makeup for that :)

today was quite the eventful day at work. i guess fridays are normally suppose to be that way. the weather was absolutely gorgeous too.

i was given the lucky task today to close the office at 6:15pm, it didnt seem that hard of a task at all. i ran into some problems but alhumulliah, nothing serious. i have more keys to add to my key-belt i wear at work, it gets more fuller as the months go by, alhumdulliah, i REALLY like my job.

after work i get home, and it sooo nice outside, that i sat outside for about an hour just chillin with my dad and my brother, we figured it was a good day to bbq, so for dinner i had a juicy steak and grilled potatoes and broccoli...yum!

im also getting a new phone, i have 2 options right now: LG Venus or Samsung Infinity...i dont feel like getting rid of my nokia tho :(
i have till early Sept. to decide

-taibah out